Dear Liz,

For several years I have been madly in love with a wonderful man. When I found him, I was a mess and needed to work on myself, which I did, wholeheartedly. (Antidepressants, therapy, and reading). He stuck by me, the whole time, offering support. I gained a lot of strength and confidence. He’s inspired me in lots of ways to be the best version of myself. We both have children from previous relationships. His children lead a different life then mine do. I won’t get into specifics, but basically, his children need his attention constantly in ways mine don’t need me. I think his commitment to his family is wonderful, and part of the reason I respect and admire him so much. But because he is so focused on them, he has little time for me. (At this time, the idea of blending our families has not come up in conversation). I’m at a point in my life where I don’t “need” anyone. But I do want him very much. I want him to be my life partner. He’s focused on other things though. How can I show him my love and support without sacrificing myself here? He was able to show me love and patience and kindness… I want to do the same….but I also don’t want to pine away for him while he tends to his family. Continue reading →