Sexual Orientation

Why Don’t I Experience Sexual Attraction?

~ Liz Pacilio ~ 1 Comment

Dear Liz,

I think I might be a sex-positive asexual (which means that while I enjoy sex, I don’t experience sexual attraction).  I’ve identified as bisexual in the past, because I am generally attracted to both men and women, but I’ve only had one relationship before.  During that relationship, my ex would often tell me that she didn’t feel like I was sexually attracted to her.  I think she might have been right?  I don’t feel what I assume is some kind of want for sex with celebrity crushes, and I don’t feel it for people who I find aesthetically pleasing and who I know I should, logically, find sexually attractive.  But I don’t know if this lack of feeling is truly asexuality, or if I just don’t know that what I am feeling counts as sexual attraction?  I feel physically/aesthetically drawn to people, as well as Continue reading →

Young Woman Questions Sexual Orientation/Worries About Family’s Reaction

~ Liz Pacilio ~ Leave a comment

Dear Liz,

My whole life up until now I have dated males.  This past summer, my best friend of seven years and I started getting closer.  We are now dating and have been for seven months, though it’s been kept a secret.   I am not attracted to girls, yet I see the girl I am dating as the most beautiful soul I have ever met.  It almost doesn’t matter that she’s a girl because I see her as perfection.  Does this make me homosexual?  Do you think that even though I never saw this for my life, I can be with her for the rest of my life, despite all the changes and controversy it will bring?  The other question I have is how to deal with telling my parents—I was raised Catholic and my parents are very religious.  This is my best friend from home and we have sleepovers and she is basically part of my family, and I don’t want to show my parents disrespect under their roof.  If it were a boyfriend, he wouldn’t be allowed in my bedroom, but they don’t know about my situation.  Is honesty the best policy, even though I know it will destroy them?
Continue reading →